Being brave about transparency
I’ve been thinking more about transparency, and how it is related to authenticity. Why is authenticity so hard, especially across difference? Why is it often in the parts of our identity where we align with dominant culture that we struggle more to be authentic, at least in diverse spaces?
We often hear about fear from folks in the privileged aspects of their identity. White folks, for example, are often afraid of “saying the wrong thing” in discussions about race, or of “taking up too much space” or “causing harm.” This is not a bad thing, per se, but when it causes people to clam up or retreat it can further erode safety.
When we are afraid, transparency is often the last thing we want to lean into. We are socialized into conflict avoidance.
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Self-regulation as a critical leadership skill
We know there's a lot going on right now and something that has been coming up in our coaching sessions with executives, leaders and staff is stress and burnout. We’ve written about burnout before, deep into the worst of the pandemic, and revisited over a year later, the strategies (and science) are just as relevant today, even if our stressors have shifted.
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People pleasing as a barrier to engagement
Earlier this year, we did a deep dive into people pleasing, and how people pleasing should not consistently traumatize the people you are trying to please.
We did several group sessions on people pleasing, and it seemed to open people up to thinking about people pleasing and its adverse impacts in new ways.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that people pleasing goes away overnight.
These patterns and habits are deeply ingrained in us, and are often rooted in strategies developed to respond to childhood trauma or harm.
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Is it “DEI” or is it “organizational management”?
A question that comes up from time to time in our work is some variation on whether an issue we have raised is “DEI” or if it is “organizational management”.
It’s a curious question, especially when it only ever seems to come from white or white appearing men about our work as women and gender-expansive people of color.
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Leaders still need to lead
Something that often happens when leaders, white leaders in particular, “recognize their privilege” is that they react by concluding that what they need to do instead is step back, be quiet, listen to others, and let other lead.
While well-intentioned, the impact of this approach can also be harmful. When those who align with systemic and institutional power fail to use it, it leaves those who are less aligned with that power to do the work, often while feeling tokenized, unsupported, and under-resourced.
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What does DEI have to do with operations?
I know we’re a few news cycles out from the Southwest Airlines debacle over the holidays, but this post from Southwest pilot Larry Lonero titled “What happened to Southwest Airlines?” hit home for me, and I believe it’s important to keep at the forefront of our minds as we move into 2023.
Oooof. I’m sure this situation rings to true to anyone who has ever had to deal with any kind of large and flailing system, whether it’s an airline, cell phone carrier, car rental company, hospital, health insurance company, public school system, bank, or pretty much any aspect of the government.
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I don’t know what will happen next
Early in the pandemic, literally in the first month, a friend shared with me something that was really helping them during that time of global uncertainty, which was that “I don’t have to know what to do next.”
Somehow, over time, and through this pandemic, this has morphed in my mind into:
I don’t know what will happen next.
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Willing but unable
Something we encounter in our DEI work with client organizations is what we have started calling “willing but unable” - folks who really want to do the hard work of integrating DEI into everything they do but are unable to do so.
Of course, every time we say that, I find myself thinking, but are they really willing, though?
And if they are so willing, what is getting in the way?
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When a culture is designed around its leader
There has been a post circulating about a certain CEO of a certain social media platform who seems to be rapidly running it into the ground, whether deliberately because of a hidden agenda or through sheer incompetence or both.
The post is by someone who was an intern at one of this CEO’s other companies, and they talk about how managing this person was a huge part of the company culture.
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Listening does not have to mean being silent
We often hear about the damaging impact of silence from staff more deeply impacted by systems of oppression within our client organizations. Silence equates to lip service, failed allyship, cowardice, lack of engagement, lack of caring, lack of commitment, lack of safety, leaving the burden of the work to those less aligned with power and more.
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On not taking things personally
A pattern that we often see with our client organizations is where those more proximate to institutional power seem to “personalize” feedback from those less proximate to power. This is a form of defensiveness where feedback from staff, usually given in good faith and not meant as an attack, although often not with frustration, pain and anger, is experienced by leadership as a personal attack.
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Learning builds trust
It is interesting to me how defensiveness functions in an environment where the goal is to shift towards equity and inclusion. Defensiveness is a natural and human reaction, but it often functions in the exact opposite way than we intend and would like.
Perhaps within a hierarchical environment, defensiveness helps us maintain power by shutting down feedback or criticism that feels like an attack. We maintain credibility and trust by being able to shoot down other perspectives, thus proving ourselves to be “right.” In academia, you are expected to literally defend your thesis. It’s a pretty standard format in debate, courts of law, art school critiques and… well, pretty much everything.
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What kind of leadership does it take to drive change towards equity and inclusion?
Leaders are often “visionaries” and “change makers” by definition. They have a vision for something that is different than currently exists, and they have the drive to make that vision a reality.
Not every leader is suited to driving change towards equity and inclusion however.
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The harm of rushing in to fix things
Many of us, especially those who are “professionally” successful, have been trained to be perfectionists, over-achievers, and fixers.
If there is a problem, our immediate reaction is to ask - how do we fix this?
We see this all the time when we do DEI and culture work with organizations. At the end of our initial discovery phase we present our findings, and the desire to react with solutions, actions, next steps, and a resolution is so deeply engrained, it creates a palpable kind of fix-it itchiness in the room.
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What does an equitable and transparent compensation structure look like?
A question that often comes up, especially from our non-profit clients, is on how to retain valuable BIPOC employees so they don’t leave for better paying opportunities elsewhere.
While race and class are not necessarily inextricably intertwined, the history in this country means that a huge racial wealth gap continues to be pervasive, and BIPOC folks, particularly Black people, face inter-generational systemic marginalization that means they are least likely to be able to afford being under-compensated.
What is an organization to do, particular a non-profit where funds might be tight all round?
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Committing to DEI as a concept is not the same as committing to it as a practice
In our work at CCI, we hear a lot from organizations who are very earnestly and firmly committed to DEI and racial justice as a concept but are lacking the commitment to it as a practice.
As with any decision, committing to it is only the first step. In fact, it shouldn’t even really be the first step if you don’t actually have any idea what you are committed to DOING.
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People are not ok
Abortion rights under attack, a formula shortage, covid rates rising again with almost 1 million dead in the US, and this past weekend, another deadly racist massacre by a white supremacist domestic terrorist... all differing outcomes of similar systemic root causes. Knowing it's the system working exactly as designed doesn't make it hit any less hard though.
I’ve been catching up with Brene Brown podcast episodes from the past few months and one thing she keeps saying is “people are not ok.” I appreciate that framing. I don’t think I’m any more or less ok than anyone else. Which is to say that I’m more ok than some and less ok than others.
I think that collectively we are not ok.
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Transparency matters
Last week we talked about how feedback may be painful but is critical for equity and inclusion. To follow up on that conversation, it also feels important to say that transparency matters.
I often like to say that the only thing worse than not gathering feedback is gathering feedback and then not sharing the results.
Seriously. The distrust and loss of morale that can be caused by this is not to be underestimated.
And I can’t tell you the number of times we hear from staff that this has happened when we start working with organizations.
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Feedback may be painful but it is critical for equity and inclusion
When I first started doing DEI consulting, I have to say I didn’t expect that so much of what we do would be about opening up spaces so our clients can gather feedback from across their staff.
However, it has proven to be one of the most valuable aspects of our work.
What we’ve realized is that we are hired to uncover the truths that may be painful for organizations to hear but that have the potential to be transformative if only they are open to it.
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Revisiting burnout
I won’t lie - I’m tired, although it comes in waves, and it’s hard to know if its from covid or just... all this. Burnout is coming up with some of our clients too, especially those on the frontlines of putting DEI to practice in their organizations. The work is tiring, and it can be hard to pinpoint what exactly is exhausting us the most.
I think, to some extent, it doesn’t really matter, or if you need an answer but can’t figure it out, it is probably all of the above. Figuring out the source can be helpful, but only to a degree, because what if we can’t change the source?
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